The author and his son, age one, on the N-Judah train in San Francisco. Credit: The tourist sitting across from us on the train, who was a really nice guy.
I was at the playground talking with some moms.
"I could never ride the bus!" said one. "They're so dirty and crowded."
"Taking the bus with a baby?" sniffed another. "That's just child abuse!"
I hate to think what they would have said about my family, had they known our terrible secret: On the second day of my son's life, we took him on a bus to see his doctor.
We had no choice. You see, we don't own a car. In fact, neither my wife nor I have drivers' licenses. We deliberately gave them up in our twenties, and ever since we've walked, rode bikes, carpooled, and taken planes, trains, and buses. And now, so does our son.
When I mention this fact to people who don't live in San Francisco, New York City, or certain parts of Boston, they look at me as though I am insane. They can't imagine life without cars; they imagine our carless life as being small and helpless.
But when their cars break down, I notice that it is these folks whose lives become small and helpless. They seem paralyzed, horrified at the thought of walking a mile or even (gasp) taking the bus. Not to be snarky about it, but I can't help but notice that many of the car-dependent spend inordinate amounts of time worrying about their health and weight.
I confess that in the first years of my son's life, I did wonder if we should get a car--and recently, I have been thinking about getting my driver's license. It's fairly easy to be both carless and childless; it becomes fantastically difficult once we become parents. But today I have no intention of buying a private vehicle; instead, I'll join a carsharing service.
Our reasons for being a carfree family are straightforward: Cars are very bad for the planet, and I believe that they are also bad for our health and our society.
“We see cars as freedom, flexibility, convenience," says University of Toronto engineer Eric Miller. "But the promise of the car, beyond a certain point, becomes nullified by the congestion and pollution it generates.”
You can buy eco-products from here to the end of time; you can recycle and reuse everything you can; you can even buy a hybrid.
But most scientists and engineers agree: The single best thing you can do for the Earth, the greatest positive change you can make, is to give up owning a private vehicle altogether.
Many people will see this as a terrible sacrifice -- and in some places, it is almost impossible. But after fifteen years without a car -- five of them as a parent -- I don't think we've sacrificed a thing. And in fact, our carfree family has gained a lot:
- Quality time: When people ride in cars, the child sits in back, restrained in a car seat -- quite often whining for attention. That doesn't happen on buses and trains. We're right there with my son, talking to him and reading to him and looking out the window at buildings and construction machines and people, and talking about the things we see.
- Social connection: We don't just read to him alone on buses and trains. It's commonplace for other children on board to get drawn into the story I'm reading--and quite often, these are children of other races and cultures. In this and similar ways, we've gotten to know a very diverse group of families who travel the same public transit routes we do, and I think that makes our city a better place to live.
- Community: This is also true for carpooling. I've heard at least one person refer to my wife and I as "mooches" because we go to friends for rides when we absolutely need them, but I've asked those friends about this and they don't mind. My family contributes to our community in many, many ways -- from babysitting other people's kids to organizing gatherings to helping out at home when they need it -- and sharing rides is just part of that continuum of community. Many of our friends are very well aware that cars hurt the environment; they're happy to share their rides, knowing that they're helping take a car off the road.
- Health, resilience, and patience: Of all the items on this list, I suspect that "health" is the one I don't need to explain. Most people know that driving everywhere weakens their muscles and adds to their waistline; it's obvious. If I drove, I'd be pear-shaped. But I've found that the benefits to my son go beyond health; he's also just more resilient and more patient. He doesn't expect to be carted around everywhere; he's not spoiled that way (he is spoiled about candy and ice cream, but that's another issue). He expects that travel will be an adventure involving many steps and negotiations, and I think he's tougher and more patient as a result.
- Love of place. Nothing fosters love for a landscape more than walking and riding over it. I see and experience things on a bike or on foot that I never would in a car, and so does my son. If I drove him to the playground, Liko would never have learned to play the drums from those dudes in Golden Gate Park; we'd never have met our neighbors Claudia and Zoe; we'd never have discovered that comic book store in the Sunset or those fascinating ant columns on the Castro sidewalk. Sure, it might takes us longer to get around the city, but carlessness has allowed us to discover more of it.
Want to know how to live without a car? Check out "How to be a Carfree Family," just posted to Shareable today, or Jill Suttie's "How to Share a Car."
This was revised from a post to my Mothering magazine blog.
Comments
Neal Gorenflo wrote on 11.11.09, 5:59pm:
Carfree sounds carefree. Considering going to a one car household. Problem is childcare isn't close. Hmm. Gotta be a way.
Jeanne wrote on 11.11.09, 7:51pm:
I miss being one of you. We were car free for 15 months, with two kids, aged 3 and 12 (or so).
Because of some serious health problems (I have Chronic Lyme Disease, and my kids have Congenital Lyme Disease) we got to a point where we had to change things.
I miss it, but will forever have a changed consciousness from our small act of living without owning a car.
It can be done!
Jeremy Adam Smith wrote on 11.12.09, 5:30am:
Jeanne: Hang in there.
Neal: Mountain View is tough, I'm sure, and it will be awhile before baby can ride in the back of a bike. That is precisely why carlessness becomes such a struggle after parenthood...
Corbyn: Thanks for enriching this discussion with your experience. One thing I take away from your note is a reminder that we live on a continuum; one can own a private car and still embrace a diversity of forms of transportation.
Another reminder: sustainability is a context, and some cities and neighborhoods are more sustainable than others, in that they provide more opportunities for walking or sharing transit. I don't think living in your community represents some failure of will or virtue on your part; it's wrong to frame it that way. We go where life drives us, and do the best that we can once we get there.
The real problem is not our individual choices--though of course this little essay I wrote is about my family's choices--but with the sprawling, car-centric way America has been designed.
So I want to be a little bit self-critical here: I set out to write a piece about what I think my son gains through a carfree life, but on the way to doing that I think I stumbled into making it sound as though the fate of the earth rests on our individual choices. I don't think that's the case. We as individuals should, I believe, avoid private car-use whenever possible, and we as individuals can gain something from those choices. But we shouldn't fool ourselves: America's cities and towns need to be redesigned for walkability, bike-ability, and public transit; if we do that, more people will walk, bike, and take public transit. Sharing and sustainable choices need to become convenient, especially for families, for us to make more than a dent in climate change.
Corbyn Hightower wrote on 11.12.09, 8:03am:
JS: thank you for your humility and reassuring words! Seems like the "sustainable, eco-" community sometimes thrusts us suburbanites with big families into the crowd of those who are not part of the solution. I'm here to stand up and wave my hand wildly and say, "I'm here . . . and I'm trying." I wish I could afford to take my family of five and live in SF, or Berkeley, or Cambridge, or Brooklyn . . . that's my fervent wish, but it will not be happening anytime soon. So for now? I'm the crazy hippie mom you see pushing a giant double stroller down a highway.
Advantages of suburbia: we can have big organic gardens in our backyards (I could never afford a yard when I was a city-dweller; I know community gardens are an option, but!) We can have big chicken coops. We can influence other suburbanites to make "greener" choices, as we're living amongst the sometimes less-enlightened.
Neal Gorenflo wrote on 11.12.09, 9:08am:
The thing "driving" the car decision is childcare. If childcare was close, we wouldn't need a second car.
Andrea and I discussed finding some folks in the neighborhood to do a nanny share. It's possible it would be less expensive than a childcare center as well as more convenient. Anybody know any resources for managing a nanny share and for finding a nanny?
Neal Gorenflo wrote on 11.12.09, 9:45am:
Funny thing is that working on Shareable connected the childcare issue to the car issue. Hadn't made that connection before. And while we had talked about a nanny share before, it made even more sense when I understood that this option may enable us to go on one car.
Jeremy Adam Smith wrote on 11.12.09, 9:56am:
Neal, try googling "how to manage a nanny share"--there are tons of resources out there. When you're through researching, write up your results for Shareable!
On connecting childcare to cars: When you add in schools, this is actually a huge issue. This past weekend I was talking with a transportation engineer for the city of San Francisco, and she was telling me that the city's school lottery system, which is intended to racially integrate the schools, vastly increases the city's carbon footprint--since the school bus system is half-hearted, at best, parents end up spending a lot of time driving kids to school and back and to various school-related activities around the city. This can also be true for preschool, which is highly competitive in the Bay Area--I know parents who drive their kids to daycares and preschools in the South Bay, because they couldn't find anything in the city. Moving everything closer-in, neighborhood-scale--and improving early childhood ed and the school system--would reduce personal stress as well as our carbon footprint.
sui wrote on 11.16.09, 3:23pm:
Excellent article! I'm expectant for my family to be carfree as well, no matter where we live. It's unfortunate that public transportation isn't as convenient as in other countries in Europe and Asia. Granted, US isn't as densely populated, but still, people seem to have a sense of entitlement about cars-- when a teenager turns 16, most almost expect to be gifted a car and join the driving world.
Bus Chick wrote on 11.18.09, 3:46pm:
Can I get an "amen"?!
Jeremy, I couldn't agree with you more. I live in Seattle, and I've been car-free for almost seven years (my husand, for much longer). We've been car-free parents for two years (we have a two-year old and another on the way in January). Everything you've written rings true for me, and I'm so glad you shared it!
P.S. - I found you through one of my favorite blogs, Carfree with Kids.
Jeremy, my friend: I just peeled away from a power nap between my sleeping toddlers, and my hair is bent and there are blanket wrinkle maps on my arms, so I won't be writing as coherently as you deserve, but quickly, a few points.
We walk everywhere, even with owning a car. I'm famous for being the one in the group saying, "It's only [blank] miles! Let's walk!" My ten-year-old may have the single longest consistent walk to school out of any of her peers; we haul from what I consider a short distance of one mile away, but I do confess that if it's pouring rain and/or FRIGID, I will sometimes drive, as it is sooo much easier what with the toddlers and all. (I'm not even sure how to protect them in the weather with their giant double stroller . . . I'm sure there must be a giant plastic tarp or something of that ilk, and I could wear a plastic suit, as could my oldest . . . but I digress.) 99% of the time, though--WALK. I impress upon my three kids that we don't hurt Mother Earth when we have a choice. That said, I *do* own a car--paid for free-and-clear, and one of the most fuel efficient and lowest emissions in its class of vehicles. We drive it when, for example, we're going for a big grocery haul at Costco (frozen organic blueberries and giant boxes of spinach are a staple for us,) or when, for example, time is of the essence. Often, I'm picking my oldest up from a class or activity that is over four or five miles away, and getting her home just in time for dinner/homework/bed, you-name-it.
I have not explored car-sharing out here in the sort-of suburbs. I won't say this is a fully suburban existence, because Roseville has hundreds of thousands of people, and our neighborhood is more village/small town than suburban. But gosh, we can even walk to the MALL here--easily.... Read More
My husband commutes the short distance he has to travel for work by bicycle *every day,* even coming home for lunch at the midpoint. He's slim and fit and doesn't even let the pouring rain hold him back (full-body plastic suit is donned those days.)
I am very fitness-oriented, and love walking. However, biking is not so easy for me. It's much harder to wear skirts and dresses that way, and that's almost all my wardrobe. I know this sounds trivial, but it would be hard for me to let go of so much clothing and so much identity. I think I'd have to explore the "tricycles" for mamas; the only one I saw that you could tote kids on was only available in the UK and cost about $6K anyway. Not a sustainable solution! :D
I have heard that the meat-for-food industry is *far* more harmful than the vehicles on the planet, which I found surprising. That does not make me feel that my car is benevolent, but I do take some comfort that my family's near-vegetarian (and my near-vegan, often) diet may be offsetting our total "carbon footprint." Of course we get a CSA produce box and to the best of our ability, shop locally. We get toys at the Goodwill, and we try to live humbly.
Another prickly issue is: I think mass transit here--what little there is--may be less . . . uh . . . demographically diverse than it is in SF or other cities. I think, here, it's more of a hard-luck thing. My children are talked to about compassion for homeless, and we will probably be volunteering at the soup kitchen in lieu of Thanksgiving dinner. Having said that, though, I'm a bit apprehensive about what our bus experiences may be. From my observations, there would be very little meeting of families, etc. on mass transit out here. Once again, I don't know from experience, and could very well be wrong on this. I've just made some repeated observations.
At the risk of really belaboring: not sure if a car-share would work for us for our type of car use. It would *maybe* work for my job, as I only need to drive out of Roseville maybe one day a week, with an occasional two-day trip about once a month. It's mainly the picking up of a fifth grader in the darkness and cold of a winter evening for example, after she's been at choir or theater group, or or . . . and having very little time to get her between her responsibilities, and having four or five miles to travel or more. We also like to go to distant farmers' markets in our region, to add to our efforts to eat locally and organically. If you add bicycle or mass transit travel to, for instance, a Sunday morning market that's fifteen miles away, suddenly that feels like it would be a commitment of many hours and most of our day, even if we were able to haul all the produce we bought. Then there's the ten-year-old . . . would she be expected to do this as well? It's hard enough to keep weight on her . . . that's a lot of food energy (calories) expenditure, something to consider with our budget. I reiterate that we walk many places with her, and garden, and play outside . . . she's not desperate for the exercise, like some of her unfit peers.
As you know, I was a long-time resident of NYC and SF, and I love living car-free, walking in a densely-populated area, etc. That's part of the fiber of who I am. I'd like to think I'm giving my family *some* of the benefits of car-free living. What are your thoughts, Jeremy? I'd love your feedback on my journey and its challenges.